BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER

 8/27 I drank coffee again around 10pm, so I decided to write. Wrote stuff on my journal, but the other thoughts just poured even when I was lying down already, so they ended up here. So here goes. For Jason... If there's one thing I can never unlearn, It would be loving you.   It took me a while to finally say I love you. Turned out every word I wrote about heartbreak l ed me to a wonderful story called you.   If in our next life I have to go through all the pain again, I'd take the same path, because coming to you, loved & cared by you will only mean one thing, I've come home.   Another one.. Heartaches kept me from writing about love stories.   I stopped writing love letters, because those papers will just become a memory, of me - someone who has loved another, but were not meant to be together.   It became a symbol of heartache for me. A jinx. So i stopped writing them.  When you came, I tried to write one, because I can express myself more thru writing, I wanted to

Naniniwala ka ba sa soulmate? Yung isang tao na kakambal ng soul mo. Not necessarily na sobrang kapareho mo, tipong parang carbon copy ng pagkatao mo, pero yung soul na nag ccompliment sayo. Iisa lang yan, and one in a million pag nahanap mo sya. :) Madaming kultura ang nagsasabi tungkol sa soulmates. Una, sabi sa isang keme, ang soulmate, red string. Napalabas na to sa ABS-CBN. Na sa dulo ng bawat string ay yung soulmate mo. Question, pano pag naputol yung string? Paano pag namatay yung nasa kabilang dulo ng string? May pumapalit ba? o iisa lang sya talaga at magssettle na lang ba tayo sa mediocre love? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another 2018 draft. Fast forward to 2021, I found my soulmate.  I-relate na lang natin to sa red string, dahil parang may laban naman yung idea. Naikwento ko na din naman si Jason, na college batchmate kong di ko naman close, magkalapit kami ng bahay, after 8 years of be

Sharing an old draft, because reading through it, I thought I can't continue with the same emotions as I have in 2019, so here's an imperfect perfect snippets of what it was for me to miss someone. Is happiness absolute to everybody? Why does sadness hides behind smiles? Are we really happy? I have heard from the mouth of the devil, that sadness is different from depression who are we to invalidate a person's feelings? -------------------- I miss you the most I miss you, in many ways, I long to feel your warmth again I don;t know if I am awake or just drunk of the idea of you Am I really in love or love already buried itself to the unknown? I lie awake, thinking of how you are --------------------- I get to be the saddest person when you leave, and the happiest when you return. I dont think the cycle ever break, but forever I'll wait. I just hope you'll never see, someone better than me.

As usual, my warning 'to. My mind doesn't work in linear thought process, so like a grasshopper, hopping from an idea to another. Mood swings, from sad to trying to be light about serious problems, to happy, to morbid, to whatever emotion there is to feel. Recently, I have been harboring negative thoughts, which I tell my jowa about. They may not be tagged as negative, because the things I am constantly thinking about are current events. How the world has gone amok, and probably ending?  COVID has not died yet, and from the looks of it, madami pa syang immutate, planning to finish hanggang zeta ata? Pero sana huwag na.  Kumusta naman kaya ang North Korea? May COVID ba sa kanila? According to Google and several sites, wala! Ano pang bansa? Turmenistan, Tonga, Tuvalu, at Nauru. Sila na lang ang mga bansang walang COVID. Maygaaaad! Bless your health and immune system.  May giyera sa Afghanistan, yung mga tao, I don't if they use common sense, but fight or flight na kasi sila e