An Episode of 2am Thoughts

8/27 I drank coffee again around 10pm, so I decided to write. Wrote stuff on my journal, but the other thoughts just poured even when I was lying down already, so they ended up here. So here goes.

For Jason...

If there's one thing I can never unlearn,
It would be loving you.

It took me a while to finally say I love you.
Turned out every word I wrote about heartbreak l
ed me to a wonderful story called you.

If in our next life I have to go through all the pain again, I'd take the same path, because coming to you, loved & cared by you will only mean one thing, I've come home.

Another one..

Heartaches kept me from writing about love stories.

I stopped writing love letters, because those papers will just become a memory, of me - someone who has loved another, but were not meant to be together.

It became a symbol of heartache for me. A jinx. So i stopped writing them.

When you came, I tried to write one, because I can express myself more thru writing, I wanted to say how much you mean to me, but the paper remained inkless. How do I write my fear of losing you? I felt like if I do so, eventually, you will leave for whatever reason.

So I hope you can read my love for you thru my constant call for attention, thru my afternoon messages, thru my smiles whenever you pick me up, thru the tears that I shed when we fight, thru my stares when you are not looking, thru all the laughs we share, and thru the exciting dreams that we plan building together.

I won't say the usual I love you, because it is an understatement...

What I feel for you cannot be summed up with words. It's like a physics equation of how the universe works...continuously expanding, uncertain where it started and where it will end.

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