Ading, My forever love

Drafts from October 2021

I know that these hard times will eventually come, but I did not expect it to be this difficult. Every night I see how you breathe shallowly, how my heart skips a bit when it takes a while to see you exhale. There is that constant painful fear that any time you will leave me, this cruel world.

I know death is inevitable that everyone will die anyway, but it hurts every second knowing that maybe tomorrow it will be the last one, that each night I fear that I will wake up without you. I can't bear the sadness, the void growing inside me, because I know you will be gone soon.

Fast forward to today, 10th of January 2022.

Still my emote up to this day. I am happy to spend each day knowing you are still the makulit, happy, kahit bihira tumahol 16 year old little dog. Know that I will try my best to prolong your life as long as I could. Your fluffy face never ceases to illicit gigil and overflowing love from us your family. Even though you have lost your eyesight last year, you are still full of life, excited when someone hugs you, giddy when you smell your favorite fruit, mango, still a voracious eater of mango yoghurt, but shit and pee just wherever you feel like it. Di naman kami nagrereklamo cleaning up your mess. :D Those little things makes up for the loyalty and happiness you gave us, especially me. I am grateful for the years we spend together. You are the greatest companion, friend, sibling, pet in the whole universe. You will always be my forever love. No one can take your special place in my life.

I hope you can still wait for your pamangkin. It's a long shot to ask you that, but I know you feel that that's important to me, and you are holding on to be in that special event in my life.

But if you leave and not see your future niece (my anak), I will surely tell him/her about you and how special of a dog you are, and I know that when that time comes, you'll visit me and let me know that you are happy wherever you may be.

I love you my little fluff. Will throw a big party next year for your 17th birthday for sure! :D

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