Lately, I've been thinking about life, my dreams, some negative thoughts - comparing myself to my batch mates who made something already for themselves, starting a family, am I ready for that? Changing careers. You get it, I have a lot going on in my head. It hasn't come to a point na magbbreakdown ako, but I am longing for my friends. During college, before we took the board exam, or that was after I forgot. We went to a spontaneous Tagaytay trip, then we sad on a parang ledge ba or something overlooking the city. Ang pinag uusapan namin, ano na kaya mangyayare satin? Sino kaya unang magkakaanak, sino unang mag aasawa? San kaya tayo mag wwork? Mga ganon. It was so pure, and we were clueless of what lies ahead of us.
Fast forward to today, all of us I would say walang napariwara. Lahat kami are working, yung iba doctor na nga and some of us nag asawa na, and may pamilya na. Me? still figuring out if I am really ready to take the leap. I would not say na naghihirap ako, I am living a comfortable life still here in the Philippines, but I would not say that I can afford to be unemployed. Ganong level.
For reference of all my rants, I am 33 years old, I live with my parents and my dog. I have a long time boyfriend, who's planning to marry me naman and already excited to have a kid. We are both working, I also manage our family business. We are capable of helping out some of our relatives. So, I can't really complain about my life. But that's not really everything about life, right? There's more to it than just surviving.
I know it's totally normal, so I'm just taking it slow, being kind to myself. Convincing myself that everything's gonna be fine, and will fall into place. Telling myself over and over about the quote I read a few days ago, "you can't fuck up what's meant for you". totally comforting diba? And really make sense.
Siguro I'll ask my jowa for a night out para makapag chika kami about this soon. We haven't done that in a while.
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