I hope someday you find this.
Six years has passed and I still feel every inch of me misses you when we are not together.
Six years has already passed but you still make every effort to spoil me,
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Edit: Another long time draft, and now I found time to go back and write another one.
Today, April 21st, 6 years and 4 months has passed, and every day makes me realize why I feel like we are going to stay together forever.
Right now is not the most ideal phase of our lives, there are aspects that we need to improve on, but despite that, I feel that as long as we are together, we will overcome anything. These past few days were like a
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Edit: Today is October 18, 2025
A few years back, I started doing this not editing the draft of my entries. As I grow old, I slowly lose that magic when I write. I can't stay focused and my train of thoughts kept getting derailed. Anyway, here's to another attempt in trying to put words how Jason's love has tamed the chaos in me, but recently, almost 7 years in, he's also the main reason I get annoyed because of his random thoughts that he wants to "discuss".
Ok so here goes...
We were in college.
You had a crush on me, I hate your guts.
You always invite me for drinks, I always find the perfect excuse of just leave you on read.
We moved on, we carried on with our little lives, and after a few years, life made our paths cross again.
You, again tried to invite me go see a movie, a movie you know I liked - Bohemian Rhapsody.
This time, I can't find the right excuse, I said yes.
And there the magic began.
It was an electrical feeling to describe it in a literal sense.
After years of dating and failed relationships, here comes the guy I dislike back in college, all dressed up and smelling so nice, opening the car door for me, and being the most gentleman, most wholesome guy I had first date with. I've been missing out on this?
After so many years, I thought our lives intertwined at the most opportune timeline. I wasn't looking for love, he was in search for a genuine connection. Someone to talk to.
Back to our first date, we had dinner. It was the first time I felt really conscious about how I look. He was dressed nicely, I was dressed like I was just going out to get groceries. But he was just there, playing it cool, and obviously completely smitten. He had that shy demeanor, but he was still in disbelief that I said yes. Well I was too.
It was the most wholesome date I have ever been to. Very relaxed, very natural. He did not even attempt to touch me. Maybe just once, when we were crossing the street, he touched my elbow!
I enjoyed the night, I said.
When can I see you again? you asked and did not waste time.
Fast forward to a few weeks of dating. He was great. A complete package, the guy I have been searching for. Someone who's articulate, someone that can sustain a conversation, tall, smells nice, and more in love than me. Surprisingly, I am falling. He showered with so much care and attention, that I was not prepared for.
I was built to be alone. I enjoy my own company, but he always finds a way to find where I was hiding. It suffocated me. He was trying to climb up the wall I have created to protect myself from being hurt again. He came when I was tired of men just leaving me for their ex or with someone new. I thought this might be just another one, who will show me rainbows and butterflies, and leave. I ended whatever we had.
I tried seeing other guys just to get him off my mind, but he was different.
It was raining, I was in the car lying staring at the window with raindrops, I can't stop thinking about him, how stupid I was for letting go what I truly want. Just because I was afraid of getting hurt again. As a Leo, my pride will not stoop low and take back what I already said. I was determined to stick with my decision.
Few days passed, he texted me. You can't imagine how happy my heart was! It flicked, it fluttered, and even skipped a beat. Thank heavens, I won't have to text him first just to check if he's still interested in me or he's moved on.
I am willing to risk it all, besides with him, it was a completely different experience so far, and I know if he hurts me, it will be a great story to share here with you. :D
And you know what? After 6 years and 10 months, our story has not ended yet.
We have highs and lows for sure, just like any relationship, but at the end of the day, we always choose each other. This may be forever? We don't know. That's how life is, full of twists and turns, dark clouds and sunshine. But I learned to just let life flows and not force anything, because whatever's destined for you, will always find a way to get back to you. Just like how he came back to my life. He found me. <3
(finally, natapos ko din lol)
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