Ang pagiging adult -- ay hindi choice, hindi rin stage of life na kelangan mo lagpasan. Bagkus, ito ay lifestyle. Pota friend, ang hirap pero at the end of the day, when you get to accomplish things...it becomes fulfilling, sometimes, inspiring.
I consider my 2017 as turning point of me accepting the fact that I have to act now and make sure to plan for my future. At the start of the year, I created a list of things I want to do and experience. I put in 17 items, and today, I ticked 10 of them. Kulang pa friend, pero yung mga natira naman, most of them are just luxury, hindi necessity, e.g my backpiece tat na gusto ko na matapos, and another piece sa wrist. Those are hindi nakakahinayang, but enrolling to take a language course, di ko sya naharap this year. Although, there are also things that I did not plan, but happened, such as my baking journey!:)
I've written several entries here about how I started, how I plan to improve and where I want to go from here. It became a life goal already, and it just keeps getting better and better. I thank God for the gift of oven and all purpose flour, because they helped me cope with depression and all the things I experienced the previous year.
Also, I learned several things. Travel is essential to ones life, it's an eye-opener and humbling to experience a different place because it makes you feel that you are just a tiny particle in this vast space called the Universe. You get to appreciate what's not yours, you meet people to make you realize that this planet should be preserved for the future generation. Shoutout to a lady in IG who's advocacy is to clean beaches, not just in her hometown, Bohol, but in every shore you set your foot on. Another thing is, people nowadays are like a cup of coffee bought in a convenience store..instant. It's either they are true to your face for good, or just good because they need something from you. Friendship nowadays is a fleeting experience. You know it'll heat up your body for a short time, it's good for you, but not in the long run. Thus, you need to choose who you open up to. We don't need unnecessary emotion invested relationship, which will end up as acquaintance. Choose your friends wisely. Be sure to treasure those true faces, who you've been with for the past 10 years or so, they are the ones for keeps. No need to have a lot if you have true friends.
Furthermore, your job is not your life. Do not let yourself burn out from all the stresses it can cause you. However, I am still guilty of letting my job engulf the sanity in me. It eats me up, especially my time. I learned how to be tough, how to stand up for what I deserve and serve those people who really needs help. But some times, management is not that easy to crack up. solid sila eh. If they are corrupt, they corrupt to the core, nothing will ever tibag that! hahahaha. Tibag. It just feels right.hahaha.Tibag. Although, I'm not really happy with how the managers are running the show, I'm still there, to assist for the common good, because I know the people I work with, frontliners..they work hard, regardless of their purpose. They are the ones who make the account flourish. I'm there for them. But, forgive me, dearests...I came to a point that I am certain that this place is not really where I want to stay. It's a place where I can't grow. I already gave it several chances..but, it's as if I talked to a wall without ears..just a mouth to tell me what to do.
With all the things I have learned, loving myself has been my priority until now. I still feel inferior about how my body turned into what I initially find as hideous. It still depresses me from time to time, but I told myself, this year, I'll make some changes.
2017 went by so fast. In a matter of several twists and turns, it's already gone..forever. It's just fast I keep on missing some people in the past, that sometimes, I want time to just stand still and breathe. I crave downtimes when I can just feel the breeze and talk about life and its adventures. 2017 was like a hustle and grind type of year for me. It pushes me to heights I didn't know I can reach, and for that I am thankful. I've matured kahit papaano. Next steps, I'm not gonna spill here. It spoils the fun I am about to experience. For sure, I am going to update this wall again, once life gave me time to type away all my thoughts.
Right now, I am about to sleep. It was a fun night with 2 of the bestest friends I have. It was bitin, I am going to miss them, but I comfort myself with the thought of a lifetime friendship. We'll see each other again for sure!:)
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