BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER

 During daytime (bilang hindi ako morning person) maraming bagay talaga nakakadistract sakin. Most of them mga useless na bagay at hindi ikayayaman. So since yesterday, napaisip talaga ako saan galing or nag originate ang mga goldfish? Bakit goldfish eh kulay orange sila? May gold ba sila sa katawan? Pede kaya sila isanla? Char!  At dahil di tayo papayag na walang sagot sa ating isipan, nag research tayo at di lang babase sa sabi sabi, sa tiktok o kaya sa youtube. Rawr! At ang expert/legit source ay NatGeo syempre. Originally pala gray green ang kulay nila. Through breeding and mutation, naging orange,red,white na sila. Saan sila nagmula ng super simula? You guessed it! Sa China. From the beginning, they are bred pala for consumption. Bilang kilala naman naging ang China na mahilig sa exotic animals para kainin, di na ito kataka-taka. Siguro merong isang Japanese na nagawi sa Japan at nakita ang breeding ng goldfish at nasarapan sya, dinala nya ang idea sa kanyang bansa. At da...

A 2018 draft. Wow self. Publishing drafts just the way they are, because I was a different person back then. :D * I guess watching too much of How I Met Your Mother gave me the Ted Mosby-itis. Maybe I should date, like what he did, until he met THE mother. Just to give you a little bit of drama, here something from my exhausted hypothalamus talking about love and missing another human being. Some times, when I post about missing someone, I don't specifically miss someone. I guess, I just miss the idea of missing someone. I miss being missed by someone too.And that is the most embarrassing thing I have to admit at my age. There are days that I feel I am being left out, by my friends, by my family, by people my age. Am I really designed to be alone? Am I really destined to be that odd number person in the group? Making jokes about the couply things they do together, but secretly feeling jealous I can't get to do them with someone. I am tired being the person people tel...

My dear future anak,   Life is always about learning. From the moment you were born to the last breath you take. Life will give you lessons, it's just how you take it that will matter. Since I am a forgetful bruha, I will put the things I learned in life (so far) here, so that you will know about it when the time is right. My anak, I hope you become a good citizen of this planet. Wag mo sanang laiitin ang english ng mama mo dito sa blog na ito, dahil wala kang baon sa susunod na araw kung ganon. :D  My number one rule is to be kind always. In a cruel world, learning to be kind is difficult. There are things that people experience you know nothing about. Some people carry their burdens so well, you won't realize they are hurting inside. Pag may nanakit sayo, sinundot ka ng lapis, pwede kang gumanti, hampasin mo ng isang rim na kompomban. Joke lang. We will teach you how to defend yourself. Don't return hate with hate. Try your best to be kind, always. 2. Learn to control you...

This has been my drafts for a little over a month... --------  It's gonna be our 4th Valentines Day, but we never celebrated it really, nor give an "extra" gift for the occasion. I've been thinking what could be something I can give him to make him feel how much I love him. Nung minsan kasi nagtthank you sya, 'thank you for everything you do', then I asked why. He said, we often forget to say it to our SO, although it is already given, saying it feels different. It's a reminder that you truly care and his/her existence in your life has a great impact. Then I realized, oo nga no, for me I got too comfortable that I feel like what I am showing him everyday is enough for my love to be felt. When he said thank you before he slept one day, it feels good! I felt appreciated.  Our relationship may be far from perfect, I sometimes still hope for something more, but the end of the day, I always think that having someone who loves me for all the weird and ugly, I fe...

Drafts from October 2021 I know that these hard times will eventually come, but I did not expect it to be this difficult. Every night I see how you breathe shallowly, how my heart skips a bit when it takes a while to see you exhale. There is that constant painful fear that any time you will leave me, this cruel world.  I know death is inevitable that everyone will die anyway, but it hurts every second knowing that maybe tomorrow it will be the last one, that each night I fear that I will wake up without you. I can't bear the sadness, the void growing inside me, because I know you will be gone soon.  Fast forward to today, 10th of January 2022. Still my emote up to this day. I am happy to spend each day knowing you are still the makulit, happy, kahit bihira tumahol 16 year old little dog. Know that I will try my best to prolong your life as long as I could. Your fluffy face never ceases to illicit gigil and overflowing love from us your family. Even though you have lost your ey...

 These past few weeks, I feel like I am in this state wherein, I know I should be happy, thankful, and contented, but I feel like there's something that I really can't pinpoint, which makes me feel lonely. You know? If ya feel me, I am relieved, but if ya don't get it, meeee toooo! I don't fucking get it.  I'm kinda forcing myself to reply to messages on social media, to my friends whom I dearly miss and wanna see already. However, I just don't have the energy that needs to be put in during catch-up sessions. I don't really know what's wrong, I feel lost circling this foreign emotion.  I want to take off my mind off things, but that seems impossible you know. Now I am writing this, which doesn't really solve anything for me, because I can't even explain what this is.  Then I remembered the movie Jason and I watched last night, Cloud Atlas. That humans commit the same mistake over and over again. It's like this tendency is already in our DNA, ...

 8/27 I drank coffee again around 10pm, so I decided to write. Wrote stuff on my journal, but the other thoughts just poured even when I was lying down already, so they ended up here. So here goes. For Jason... If there's one thing I can never unlearn, It would be loving you.   It took me a while to finally say I love you. Turned out every word I wrote about heartbreak l ed me to a wonderful story called you.   If in our next life I have to go through all the pain again, I'd take the same path, because coming to you, loved & cared by you will only mean one thing, I've come home.   Another one.. Heartaches kept me from writing about love stories.   I stopped writing love letters, because those papers will just become a memory, of me - someone who has loved another, but were not meant to be together.   It became a symbol of heartache for me. A jinx. So i stopped writing them.  When you came, I tried to write one, because I can express myself more thr...