Hindi ko alam kung pano ko ipapaliwanag kung pano nararamdaman ang sakit.. Unang una sa lahat, ang pain ay very subjective. Ibig sabihin, ang masakit para sa isang tao ay maaring hindi naman masakit sa iba. Pero may isang bagay na nagkakapareho para sa lahat, lahat tayo nakakaranas ng sakit.
Hindi lang minsan sa buhay ng isang tao ang makaramdam ng sakit, hindi mo rin masasabing hindi ka masasaktan kahit alam na alam mong memoryado mo na ang isang bagay na iyong ginagawa. siguro pwede nating tawagin na destiny yun. Oo, destiny mo na masaktan...para gumaling. Wala namang sakit na hindi natatapos...siguro nga tama sila, walang forever, at lahat nagbabago.
Bago pa ako mapunta sa ibang bagay, gusto ko lang talaga sabihin na masakit...Gusto ko na nga minsan sabihin na sanay na ako masaktan, kasi katulad ng sinabi ko kanina, kahit pa saulado ko na lahat ng mga naranasan ko before, hinding hindi ko padin masasabi na di ako masasaktan.
I've been through a lot of relationships, and all those failed. Maybe it's because of me, or him, but one thing's for sure, someone did something that made one hurt the other. There are mistakes that led to realizations, but there are some that led to confusion. I know I made bad decisions, and now I'm confused. I actually don't know how to handle my life right now. I even curse myself for doing things that I didn't even think of beforehand. And those decisions made the only person I love so sooo much leave. Words will never be enough to express how painful it is to realize that I made him go back to his ex. Or maybe, what happened were actually pre destined to make me realize that he's not the one for me. either way, I still haven't reached the realization stage. Admittedly, I still dwell in my confusion, because it still sting everytime I think of all the happy memories we did together. All our future plans hit me like a crashing wave..they burn in my skin, knowing that I am the only one still thinking of making those dreams come true. He left me even before he say it..I am left hanging, already knowing that this will not lead to anything anymore.
Masyadong masakit, napa english pa ako..Mahirap sabihin na kaya ko, na sanay na ako, kasi kahit madalas naman ako masaktan, merong iba't ibang dahilan bakit ako nasasaktan. Sa ngayon, sa unang pagkakataon sa buhay ko, andami kong pinagsisihan over a short period of time. Andami kong gustong balikan para lang maitama ko lahat samin, gusto kong ayusin yung mga bagay na akala ko noon na tama.Masakit kasi sana hindi ko na lang tinuloy lahat...kung hindi naman ako yung nagsimula, wala din naman ako sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon. I made all those decisions because they made me happy, they made me someone invincible. But all good things always come to an end..and it's quite bitter for me.
If I could just turn back time and unlove you, it will save us both from this heartache. If I could just turn back time, I would have walked away alone and looked at you with a hopeful heart, that I can be worthy of your undying love. But all I did was ruin everything. I may have realized a few things while writing this, but I don't think healing is somewhere near. I have forgiven him for leaving me, but I haven;t forgiven myself that I fell in love. As much as I would want to forgive myself...I know that I did this and it's my fault why I'm hurting...
People say that pain demands to be felt...and all my life, I live with it. If this is my destiny, then I might as well, learn to dance with it.
May forever ba? kahit contradicting sa una kong sinabi, naniniwala padin ako sa forever at true love. I just think that those are not suitable in my life.
Ang sakit..andyan yan para sabihin satin na buhay pa tayo...minsan, di ko maiwasang isipin, nabubuhay na lang ba ako para masaktan?
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