BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER

As painful as my title..I am deeply sad of how our friendship turned out, because of inevitable circumstances. I know it was partly my fault of leaving him with everything we've planned together. But the things I've been through back then was excruciating, and it really tested how strong I was..emotionally. It's still depressing when I look back and think how ruined I was back then. I think I have already made kwento how wasak I was when I came back from SG. So itatagalog ko na lang, di kasi nagtatagal train of thought ko lately. As if I have writers' block or something. Anyway... Ikkwento ko ulit kung pano ako nagmahal, naiwan at nahulog sa kaibuturan ng planetang Pluto.:D Paano ko nga ba sisimulan? Si P. Bestfriend ko sya simula ewan. Nakilala ko sya sa HGS, ka wave ko sya, di ko na matandaan kung kelan nga ba kami nagsimulang maging parang magkapatid. 2012 ako nagsimulang magtrabaho sa HGS. Ang close nya talaga yung lukaret naming ka wave na kriminal na ngay...

So conyo my title..:D Thursday palang pagod na pagod na pagod na ako. It's end of month, so madaming reports to send, validation and all. Then, I am currently working on my presentation for our upcoming strat planning..sa sabado yun,with the mokong kong bosses. Puro sila lalake, kaya mokong.!hahaha. At marami pang dahilan bakit sila mokong sa paningin ko. yung lunch ko sa office 30 mins lang plus samahan mo pa ng pakonti konting ihi, para di ako magkasakit sa bato. ayun lang ang pahinga ko talaga. After ko sa office,uuwi ako para mag bake ng orders. Pak na pak talaga tong week na to, walang humpay. Syempre mahirap isingit ang social life kong nabubulok na parang saging sa aming hapag. kung kelan pabulok na saka lang papansinin ng nanay ko. Magagalit sya bakit di namin kinakain, so ang ending, gagawin ko na lang syang banana bread, dahil lokbu na banana ang bet ng recipe. Going back..meron akong nbet na bet na binabasa ko ngayon, The Circle ni Dave Eggers. Maganda! Ginagawa na ...

Syempre joke lang yung title! Sino ba naman ako para sabihing kaaway ko ang pinakamain roatd hukbong kamaynilaan. Nakikidaan na nga lang ako, ako pa nagrereklamo, mamaya lagyan nila ng toll gate yan bawat MRT station, edi lalo tayong na bv, baka mag aklas na tayo araw araw nyan.. Anyway, masyado nang mahaba yung kaartehan ko sa intro. Naalala ko, kahapon pala yung anniversary gn EDSA revolution, at kaakibat non, naalala ko ang mga karanasan na sa pagtahak sa EDSA ko lang na experience.  Dati, nag bbus ako pagpasok sa trabaho at pag uwi,ngayon ewan ko bakit sinapian na ako ng kaartehan at katamaran, lagi na akong naka taxi. Ah alam ko na,medyo di pala kaya ng balat ko na mainit pag mga 10am na ako uuwi, alam naman nating lahat na ang araw sa ating bansa ay parang oven toaster na ngayon, hindi na lang ito nagbibigay ng Vitamin D, kundi nagbibigay narin ito ng amoy araw anit at init ng ulo, basang kili kili, singit, likod ng tuhod, at minsan kaakibat p nito ang biproduct ng bacter...

There are days that I don't want to go to work, days that I wanna wake up in a different place where no one knows me. A time to breathe different air and see different night lights. But each time I try to detach and let their worlds turn without me, it's still me who choose to go back and take care of things for them. At the end of the day, I don't know if I should stay, or take that leap of faith and chase that dream. I'm not the type to regret things and ask non sense what if questions. I always settle for what I am sure of and for what I believe in..I despise overthinking because it only confuses people. I don't want days to just go by and let my brain explode with thoughts that are not true and will eventually make me feel worthless. Right now, I'm having the biggest dilemma I've ever had in years. I am torn between leaving and staying.  This is not just with work...it's with all that I have right now. Work is getting well,I guess. After talk...

Around this time last year, I decided to deactivate my Facebook account along with my Tumblr account. First and foremost, my reason was plain: social experiment. In this era of dependency to social media to achieve love and belongingness, I want to know for myself if I can live without it.  I did. My experiment was successful! Here are the things I realized: It is not about the likes, shares and follows that make you 'friends' with anyone. If you are friends in FB and you guys are exchanging comments in this platform, it does not necessarily reflect in real life. Once I deactivated my account, there remained my true friends, who reached out, and asked where am I, how am I doing, if I'm still alive. Anyway, I've known them from the start. I have this gift of knowing if a person will stay in my life or not. I perceive their aura as cue on how to deal with them. From then on, I enjoyed the simple life of waking up to peaceful mornings/nights, without excessive dram...

Sa henerasyong laging nagmamadali, ang mga ipinanganak sa panahong walang pag aatubili, namamangha kung paanong oras ay tila napakaliksi. Bakit nga ba ang araw ngayo'y parang laging pagod at gusto'y gabi na lang lagi? Minsan aaraw, minsan kukulimlim, minsa'y presko ang hangin. Kadalasan, ang bilis ng tanghali. Ang dating siesta, ngayo'y puro na lang pagttrabaho at ayaw umuwi. Bilang ipinanganak sa huling dekada ng inosenteng pagkabata, mangmang sa mundo ng teknolohiya, may panahon na ang puso ko'y puno ng agam-agam. Bakit parang gaya ng panahon, ang tao ay nagiging pabigla-bigla, sa pagdedesisyon, sa pag-ibig at pag-aasawa? May isa akong kakilala, kaibigang matalik, kapatid kong turing. Ilang taon na lang, ang edad nya'y lilisan na sa kalendaryong Lunar. Galing sa relasyong matatag, ngunit nagdesisyon ang tadhanang wag ng tumagal. Sya'y naghahanap, nagmamadali, humihingi ng signo sa mga talang kumikislap, kung may pag-ibig nga bang para sa...

You were in my far past, And I'm moving on. You were in my dream, so real, it felt like we're living in reality. T'was a novel-like dream, of stardust and strawberry cream. You called, and I found you walking around your office warily. I knocked, but you seemed busy. I waited. Time could be as cruel as the weather, the agony of waiting to rain felt forever. After the unsettling hours of standstill, I saw you at the doorway, waiving at someone who looked exactly like me. An apparition or just my anxiety toying with me? My footsteps came to a halt, I can't move. I saw how your eyes sparkle and your smiles danced with hers. It was sheer, unyielding happiness. Every heartbeat was harrowing, every breath tormented my lungs within. I heard myself screaming your name, but words never came. Tears sprung, with trembling knees I turned and walked away. I was weak and the joy of seeing you after eons were replaced with anguish and melancholy. Oh, how I ...