*Not mine; kay Ms.Ellaine Marianne Boseta to..:)) Maganda ee.,:)
For almost nineteen years of my existence, I never had he chance to meet my father. If ever I would stroll around malls or any other places and suddenly passed in front of me, and if ever our eyes meet, I would never know that the person I exchanged sigh with was my father. I do not have any idea or a single memory about him. But there is only one thing I know and I am certainly sure of, he left us behind, may before some reason that I do not know.
When I was eight years old, my mother had to work abroad to earn for a living. Since then, I lived with my grandparents, and we only get the chance to spend time with each other for a month, out of twelve in a year. When I was fourteen years old, my mom resigned from her job, in Saudi and tried to work here. I was very happy because she was finally here with me. W spent most of the time playing with each other, cuddling, cooking together, exchanging stories, laughing at each other’s mistakes and claiming that I was prettier than her (while she claims that she s the tree and I’m just her fruit, and that follows that I just got the half of her ‘God-given’ beauty –as what she calls it). There was always the thought of togetherness.
As months passed by we both realized that the money she was earning was not enough for both of us. So she informed me that in six months time she has to leave again. A couple of days, before my mom left, she asked me a question that changed my whole perception in life. “What if one day, your father would come up to you and tell you that he’s your dad? What would you do?” There was a sudden halt. Then I just replied, “Hindi ko siya kikilalanin kahit kelan! Baka kung ano pa magawa ko!”
At that moment, my mom saw the anger I felt for my dad. She hugged me and told me, “Anak, hindi mabuti ang magtanim ng sama ng loob…”.Since then, I had both the greatest and hardest thing that I’ve learned in life, “loving your enemies” is the similar phrase.
Years passed and that particular lesson still rushes through my mind. It took e a long time to let go, accept, and let the anger fade away. It was not that easy for me to do such, and I guess for some people as well. Loving someone who deliberately caused you misfortune or too much pain is a kid of an odd reaction. I was brought up in a Catholic faith, and one of God’s teaching s to love thy neighbor, even you enemies. If we try to think about it, Jesus himself suffered for our sakes. Despite the people accused Him and caused Him to be nailed on the cross, He still forgave us and loved us. As for my mom, she forgave my dad. She was the one who directly endured all the pain (not me). I can’t imagine how my mom had the strength and the heart to be able to do that. She had to transfer o another school and take up Nursing because at that time, Nursing was already in demand and we needed the money.
She had to work twice as hard since I came. So i realized that she is the one who has the right to be mad, and not me. She did all her best to provide me with everything I needed. She assured that she fills up all the spaces my father had left. Given an enough amount of time, I come to reflect and realize everything, that I am very blessed and that there is nothing to be mad about. At this point, I am very especially grateful for having the best mother I could possibly have.
Last 2004, I had to file a leave of absence from school. I went to London
It was March of this year that came back to carry on with my studies. And just two weeks ago, my mom left again to carry on with her work. We cried before parted ways. The feeling was different, the last time she left. It was more depressing that what I’ve expected. But still, both of us have to move on, and continue living our lives for each other. We talked through the phone a lot and we exchange messages through the mobile. It is a long distance relationship but we are surviving. Sometimes, I still stop and recall the times hen we were together. And sometimes, I still feel like crying. It is not because I do not feel happy being here. I am glad to be here with my friends, my cousins, and other relatives, and studying nursing again, it’s just that I really miss my mom.
If my mom were to ask me again the same question she asked me five years ago, I am ready to answer it. I would tell her that I will be glad to finally meet my father. I will not scold him or be mad at him, rather I would want us to sped a day together and discuss where he last left off. May be he has his reasons for leaving, and I am wiling to know and understand those reasons.
I do not have a perfect life, a perfect family, and I am not even a perfect person. But that’s what makes my life beautiful and worth living-the flaw. If these things did not happen, I would not be the kind of person I am at this very moment.
To my father, wherever he is right now, I hope that he is happy with his life. And if ever we meet I would sincerely be glad. To my mom, thank you for being strong, for standing up for both of us, for fighting for me, and for loving for whom I am. And to God, thank you for giving me this life. Yes, it is flawed, but I think that this is the most beautiful gift that You blessed me with.
Acceptance is the first step, forgiveness is the next, and moving on completes the process of learning to love others.
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