BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER

Hindi ko mawari, o maarok ng utak kong sobrang nabbwisit kung bakit merong mga utak paa na, may malaking issue sa mga babaeng nagbbreastfeed in public. Anong problema nyo dun? *syempre hindi pa tapos..aalis lang ako sandali, gusto ko ng lumpia! Nagbabalik! pero after isang taon, dahil sa kasalukuyan na tntype ko to January 2 na.so para di naman masyadong nakakagimbal na iwan ko tong huli kong entry sa taong 2016, eh punan ko na din kahit konti pa ulit. So ayun nga,bakit nga ba merong mga shitty human beings na may issue sa mga babaeng nagpapa breastfeed sa public? hindi pa ba to isang normal human activity na tipong alam na ng lahat? tulad ng paghinga..ginagawa mo sa public, pangungulangot, tangina eto ang mas dapat kairitahan eh, lalo na yung pumipitik ng nasundot na freebie sa ilong. Ang pag bbreastfeed ng mga ina kung saan man ay isang bagay na dapat nilang gawin.Gutom ang sanggol, hindi naman maganda ang bottle feeding agad agad sa bata, kaya siguro sabaw yung ibang tao da...

Dalawang araw na akong tawa ng tawa,paparating na malamang ang delubyo. Pero dahil unang araw ng buwan ng Disyembre, isisiwalat ko ang nakakapanlumong tanong sakin tuwing nagbibigay ako ng adbays,mapa lablayp man o life coaching style. Ang mahiwagang tanong.."Seryoso ka ba?" Ang mahiwagang sagot: "Mukha bang hindi?" Hindi din kayang arukin ng innocent mind ko kung bakit lagi na lang ang kasunod na rebuttal nila eh ganto.."para kasing ang sarcastic mo magsalita eh". Problema ko ba ito, mga kapatid sa kapanalig? Kelan ko lang din naman na discover na may lahi akong sarcastic. Pero ang hindi ko lubusang maintindihan ay bakit padin ako tinatanong ng opinyon ko sa madaming bagay. Mapa lablayp na hindi din naman nila susundin dahil love is blind, o di kaya,anong gagawin nila sa trabaho nilang nakakamuryot, o di kaya anong irereply nila sa text message na nakakakilig pero ang hirap replayan kasi hahahaha na lang ang huli.  Ang kahindik hi...

Minsan pag tinotoyo ako ng mga tanong kong wala sa lugar kung maisip, itatanong ko yan kung sinong kasama ko..a few weeks ago, habang nagkkwentuhan kami ng isang kaibigan, habang kumakain ng pilsen, tinanong ko sya out of nowhere, "paano mo gusto mamatay?" Di ko alam anong brand ng toyo ko nun, pero wala naisip ko lang kasi, madalas ayaw pag usapan ng mga tao ang kamatayan, pero bet na bet pag usapan kung paano mabuhay.Hindi ba mas magandang pag usapan ang kamatayan, kasi ayun hindi mo mapag handaan eh, edi mas ok na alam ko kung paano mo bet mamatay! Parang ganto lang yan, gusto mo maging abogado, pero call center agent ka ngayon. you dont get what you want but you can aspire what you want to be when you grow up! Walang sense. oo na! Sabi kasi ng isang hindi ko kilala, "Life and Death are just two sides of the same coin". So bakit mo iisnabin ang isang pisngi ng piso mo kung isang buo mo naman yan ipinang babayad? Di ko alam kung ano anong lumalabas na analogy s...

Everyone craves to have that one perfect love..Who doesn't, right? I've talked to a lot of people, met a lot of earthlings, and observed the metro go round, (in my several bouts of coffee-ing and counting human beings session by myself) I feel like they, we exert so much effort, just to get to that #relationshipgoals they can post in the social networking sites. What has come to our dear romantic side? Is it just within the confines of our social sites that we can see happy couples, sweet gestures, genuine kilig, guys making ligaw sa bahay of the ate, and making sibak the kahoy for the ate's family (not the ate ang sisibakin). Kidding aside, I dont know when was the turning point of humanity, to be so digital about everything, including love and ligawan portion. Personally, before, I wasn't really a fan of ligawan stage. Mainly because, if I know i like someone, I dont want the period wherein, the guy should prove something to the girl, because that would be so sex...

I was about to put down my doodle notebook, when I saw this piece on the next page of my doodles..Di ko sure kelan ko 'to sinulat, pero feeling ko around June to..nung wala akong magawa sa life kung hindi, mag mukmok bakit nya ako niloko.hahaha Eto sabi.. You make me doubt our love, you make my heart scared of tomorrow. Am I really the one you love? Or will she be the one you'd find tomorrow? We were as close as a hundred percent zoom true love, but, with all the things you're telling me now, we might be as far as all particles of big bang tomorrow. With all these turn of events, suddenly, I imagined a lonely tomorrow..without you, without me, without us. ....end

dahil im pms-ing,I got gazillion cravings and emote episodes the whoooole weekend, I was able to start writing my project script! I got characters already, the story line, the twists and turns but no ending yet..also,I kinda feel discontented with the introduction I did, I was so depressed last night, I wasn't able to incorporate humor! twas supposed to be a rom-com shit, tas walang comedy! Kaabnormalan ko talaga kagabe. I was in my usual reading place, konti lang tao, peaceful. I enjoyed their playlist last night, very nature loving, tagalog kasi, pero hindi tipong Aegis ah! Basta! So yun nga, since I woke up andami kong thoughts na di ko malaman san ilalagay, tinatamad naman ako magsulat nung nagising ako..pero nung mag isa na ako ayan na syempre, wala naman na ako magagawa kasi kelangan ko na talaga isulat..kahit puro sadness lang naman..sinapian ata kasi ako kahapon, kaya eto na sila: so, literally, I was drowning with my own thoughts yesterday, I got so emotional, I cried...

Once I asked someone, do you know a time when you feel like the world around you is in deep slumber, and you enjoy the perception of being alone...sensing all there is to feel, the darkness before dawn, a peculiar moment of silence within twilight. Today seems one of those days, that I get flashbacks, of all the things that happened these past few weeks, months. I met someone, someone who unexpectedly made me feel alive again, someone whom I confided all the bizarre thoughts my brain can make up, and luckily this person listened. I'll paint a picture of him; he is  tall, fair-skinned, and he smells like none of the earthlings I ever smelled in my life. He has brown eyes, like chestnuts, which looked into my soul, like he knows more that I want to tell him. His lips that curves when he sees something amusing, his head that tilts sideways involuntarily when he's thinking, or maybe twas just one of his mannerisms. And his voice, god, his voice makes me feel I'm listening to...

Nung naisip ko isulat to, ang naisip kong title agad, "the art of being alone". Nag google ako, masyado nang madaming gumamit ng gantong title..masyado na atang madaming alone sa mundo. O aminin na natin sa ating mga mapagkailang budhi, na walang gusto maging mag-isa. Kaya habang tinititigan ko yung mga sa salitang "Post a title" sa me title box..bigla kong naisip ang science. Science..yung favorite mong subject nung grade 1..Ano nga ba ang kahulugan ng science? Kinunsulta ko ulit si google..eto ang pinaka gusto kong definition, at gusto kong gamitin sa kontekstong bet kong baybayin: "Science is the concerted human effort to understand, or to understand better, the history of the natural world and how the natural world works, with observable physical evidence as the basis of that understanding" Ano ibig sabihin nyan? Ewan ko.  Ang chika eh, ang siyensya o agham daw ay isang.. wait! disclaimer muna, ito ay ayon sa pagkakaintindi ng mura kong p...

minsan..ahm.kadalasan pala, pag nagbback read ako dito, napapak smh na lang ako.. Gusto ko sabihan yung sarili ko na wag na ako mag english.hahaha. :p

May isang kaibigan na nakausap ko paminsan, na nakapagpaalala sakin na gumagawa ako ng daily astrology nung high school palang ako.. hulog sya ng langit, since medyo nanunuyo na yung utak ko sa mga trip kong isulat nowadays..At least ngayon meron na akong pagppraktisan. Heniwey..ang mga horoscope na ginagawa ko naman noon eh walang katuturan, yung tipong wala naman talagang scientific basis..ay wala nga naman pala talaga yun, according lang yun daw sa mga galawan ng mga bituin sa kalangitan. Biruin mo nga naman, ang mga bituin na nangungusap at sasabihin na ang mga taong ipinanganak sa buwan ng Agosto ay may angking sayad na di kailanman mapapantayan ng iba, marapat na mag ingat sa araw na ito, dahil meron kang kaibigan na sasabutahe sa OOTD mo. Mga ganon kemerut, minsan naiisip ko kung ang mga horoscope sa mga tabloid ay kinukunsulta ba sa mga psychic or star readers..aba! ang hirap nun ah, gabi gabi kang titingala sa langit, para humingi ng kemerut sa mga bituin..ibig sabihin pala e...

By how far back did I actually go to make it to where I am right now? Did my past helped me move forward? Are the pain of yesterday made me a better lover? a better person?a better daughter? a better sister? will i be a good wife? am i going to be the best mother my kid will ever ask for? or am i going to grow old holding my laptop,typing broken words and skipping heartbeats? What would it take for someone to create the best song? does she/he needs the best person to make the best song? or does a song writer needs a broken heart , alcohol and weed? Can a happy soul bring out a happy offspring in this motherfucking planet? What are the odds that a random person now, would actually make a break up song for you in the future? Why does a heart the size of a fist, could beat strongly in the face of death? Are there souls seeking revenge? Are there lives intertwined just to be an accomplice of a plotted revenge? Will there be someone in this world, who will make you ...

A lot of people have been very obsessed looking for the thing called elixir of life! The fountain of youth! to become immortal like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise..char! Aside from becoming a vampire..I know a better way to become immortal..and that's not even according to me! Napulot ko lang kaninang umaga.. Sabi eh, "if a writer loves you, you're forever immortalized.." Tama naman diba? Isipin mo na lang ang dashing na si Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. He's forever in the hearts of many avid romance readers, because his character was immortalized by kumareng Jane Austen. Ganun ang love ng writer..undying!walang katapusan! in short, MAY FOREVER!! ayun na ang pinakamagandang advice sa mga di naniniwala a forever, yung mga humahanash na lifetime. mga kaartehan nyo, hinayupak, pareho lang yun ayon sa kontekstong trip nyong paggamitan!wag na tayo mag ululan. oops! too much intensity.haha Anyway, gateway na maraming gays..personally, I feel like loving a writer makes a s...

Sa bansang puno ng grammar-nazzi, fashion pulis, at mga jejemon,may mga nilalang na walang habas na matindi ang fighting spirit, pag nagkakamali sa pagsasalita ng wikang Ingles.  Di ko naman kakampihan si Jessy Mendiola dito, pero ang masasabi ko lang NAPAKA SELF-RIGHTEOUS nyong lahat, kingina nyo!! Akala nyo sino kayong magagaling mag English. Ni hindi nga kayo magaling managalog, kung makalait kayo ng mga nagkakamali sa english akala nyo pwede na kayong alayan ng itlog at biko sa galing mag english! Punyeta! Sino bang hindi mauutal pag sinabihan kang maganda ng date mong bet na bet mo? Mga hinayupak! Hindi naman ako galit..Ayoko lang talaga yung mga nagiging kaugalian ng mga ka-earthlings natin na akala mo perpekto at gagawan pa ng memes. Oo, nakakatawa, pero eto na ba yung dapat ipamana sa susunod na henerasyon natin? yung tawanan yung mga taong di makasagot ng direcho english? Mga mas malalansa pa kayo sa isda! Sabi ni Ingrid Bengis, "words are a form of action, ...

Bilang nalipasan na ako ng antok kakapindot ng letters dito..lubusin ko na ibuhos lahat ng kaartehan at gulo ng utak ko!.:) “when forced to pick from the truth and legend, print the legend” -John ford Minsan di ko magets anong trip ng tao..lalo na sa tv..lahat ng tao naghahangad malaman ang katotohanan, lahat ng istasyon ng telebesiyon nangangako na maghahatid ng balitang totoo. Pero pag hinarapan mo ng katotohanan ang tao, hindi benta sa kanila. Sa panahon ngayon, ang katotohanan ang sinusuka, hindi realidad ng buhay ang gusto laklakan, kundi puro nagniningning na kasinungalingan at mga namumukadkad na ideyolohiyang malayo sa katotohanan. Pero related sa quote sa taas na nakuha ko sa isang blog ni Lourd De Veyra, totoo nga to sa industiya ng telebisyon.Kung ano yung sikat, kung ano ang nalalaman ng tao na sa tingin (na naimpluwensyahang isipin) na tama, ayun ang patok..ayun ang nagiging bersyon ng makabagong ‘katotohanan’. Parang pagbabalita ng ABS-CBN, sa isang mensahe ni P...

Hindi ko na matandaan anong edad ako namulat sa mundo ng tabloid,tulad ng Tiktik, Bomba, Boso, at kung ano ano pa. Hindi ko na din matandaan kung ano nga ba ang interpretasyon ko sa mga malalaswang litrato ng kababaihan, na halos walang saplot na nagpapapikchur at nagppose na akala mo eh ikababawas ng nagugutom sa Africa. Ang alam ko lang eh ginagawa lang ito ng mga mababaeng malalaki ang boobs,mapuputi, at halos wala nang buhok sa katawan (wag isasama ang ulo syempre).   Hindi ko na mabibilang sa mga daliri ko, kamay at paa, ang mga babaeng pumayag na mag pose para sa isanlibo't isang tabloid at kung saan saan pa.. At! hindi ko din sure kung ilan sa kanila ang sinadyang ipaayos ang kanilang ichura para lang maging 'qualified' mag pose sa ibat ibang peryodiko at magasin.  Ano bang problema ko, bakit ko biglang naisipan tong topic na to? Naalala ko kasi si Jessy Mendiola. Oo. hot nya diba? Kras ko sya dati..(hindi po ako shiberbeley) nung hindi pa sya nagpapakita...

What I've promised myself can be delayed, sino lang ba lolokohin at paaasahin ko, sarili ko lang din. Ano nga ba yung promise ko sa sarili ko? Magsulat ng masasayang bagay. Pero everytime na haharap naman ako sa laptop, puro sad thoughts and memories naiisip ko. Recently, I was haunted by super childhood fragmented memories. I said fragmented because these are memories of my father and I. I think I have never written something about him, since I really dont know him and I dont have happy memories with him aside from glimpses and very vague things about him. I know how he looks, before..I know the sound of his voice..or are these just my imagination? Image of what I thought he is..was. One day, I went home from work, doing the normal things I do, I eat, read a bit of news or a few pages of my numerous book, browse through on all my social media accounts, contemplate on what things I want to do with my life, which are just blueprints that I cant even start working on and s...

Weekend na naman..weekend na naman na wala ako sa huwisyo umalis at pumunta kung saan. Yung panahon na ayoko muna makakita ng kakilala. Minsan iniisip ko kung normal ba talaga na maramdaman 'to o sadyang may sayad lang ako.. Nag back read ako ng mga previous posts ko, ok naman yung progress ng healing process ko...pero ngayon di ko alam.Ibang dimension na naman ng sadness nararamdaman ko, di ko alam kung kelangan ko pa ba i post lahat ng yun, kasi parang ako mismo napapangitan na puro sad posts na lang nailalagay ko. A question popped into my head,am i really happy? I would say yes, with all the blessings I have right now. But I guess the loneliness I have is something innate already that I want to shut myself from the world,  to just regain all the energy I spent during the last few weeks. Saan ba ako pupunta ngayong weekend na gusto ko na naman mapag isa? Di ko gets bakit di pa ako nasanay sa sariling ganto naman lagi halos every month.. I need my alone time and I need a...

When you are happy, I don't think any justification as to who, what makes you happy should be known to everyone. I know I've been posting a lot of things about the anonymous person who makes me smile and giggle these past few weeks, but I dont know why people cant just let me keep these things private. And, why is it so fucking hard for some people to just shut the fuck up,and mind their own business. People have the right to say things because,this is a free country! You practice freedom of speech and all that.. but you don't ruin people's reputation, you don't spread rumors,you don't speculate things and you dont fucking destroy people's lives. Tangina. I hate it when I feel mad, it's not that I dont like hating people..that's normal. I just dont like the emotion, anger. It's not who I am, not the feeling I want to radiate to this fucking cruel world! But there are people who were born to unleash the freakin devil in you. Someone...

Mahirap maging masaya kung yung puso mo eh luhaan..tipong, napaso ka na ng mantika, tatawa ka pa din kasi masarap naman yung naluto mo. Ang gulo diba? Minsan hindi ko alam saan ako nakakakuha ng kaabnormalan para lang makapagpatawa, makapang asar ng friends at tumawa sa sarili kong jokes. Mas madalas ko na ngang maisip na me regalong kabaliwan talaga sakin si Lord kaya ako ganto. At minsan,nakakamangha na kahit pala ang miserable akong tao, may mga tao na makapagpasaya sayo ng di mo ineexpect. May kasamang kilig chaka mga pick up lines. *flight of ideas na naman* Naging saksi na ng pagka inlab at pag mmove on ko 'tong site na to, kaya minsan natutuwa ako mag back read sa mga nasulat ko na before kasi kadalasan, nakalimutan ko na yung naganap na yun sa life ko at madalas, andami nang nagbago. Tao. at feeeeelings! So ngayon...me nagbago. yung state of well-being ko.charot! I just don't know what happened, I felt lighter. I felt like my old self again and! I feel li...

I was never fond of listening to random music from an app like soundclound. Music and I never really get along that well, to make me sit, click on some random person who composed a song, and enjoy it. For me to want to listen to something unknown, someone should tell me that it's good and that it really is attention-worthy. Sooooo, here comes an anonymous person who, I think is the same person, commenting in some of my blogs here, sound clips.Very specific,original soundbites from soundclound. I would say the songs are very specific, because it totally relates to the blogs that he commented on! Talk about on point,hit right home thing. Kudos to mr/ms anonymous. Recently, anony (yes, I'm giving you this name just to make it short, and i dont have to type it fully, but here I am explaining why I christened you with a shorter code name, to make my life easier. What's wrong with me?), let's just make it Mous! para cute, like my kras from the movie Step Up. Anyway!!! Mo...

Today is..day 7.Ang bilis ng araw.1 week na pala yun.. Nung unang panahon, I accidentally met someone who craves and appreciates alcohol the same way I do (until now kasi same padin appreciation ko). I'm really not sure how it all started, I mean the almost monthly beer sessions which led to a higher frequency of drinking..ano daw? hahaha. Well, hindi ko rin naman alam na sinasadya nyang yayain ako ng madalas uminom, until he confessed na sinasadya talaga nya yun para makasama ako. He became the bestfriend and beer buddy that I needed during the times I was so broken from loving someone who freakin destroyed my human heart. Yung mga inom naming by group nalessen ng nalessen yung tao, hanggang sa nag iinom na lang kami ng dalawa lang kami. Na hindi ko din malaman san kami nakakakuha ng mga kwentong pwede mapag usapan ng umaabot hanggang alas singko ng hapon. Nangungutang pa nga kami sa malapit na suking tindahan para lang makainom sa the place to be. Di ko alam kung ganun ak...

I don't know what's with today but my bosses kept on telling so much good things, that I can't even fathom what I did to make all these happen. Such words would definitely make your head spin, and smile from ear to ear, like a crazy clown. :p "it's ok you're still my win for today" --- "I heard that you did well during your client call earlier.." "No, I did not,I thought Toot's not there, coz he's not talking" "Eh he said you already covered everything, you did not give him a chance to say anything else. You know what, I already know that you're going to perform well. I saw it from the day I interviewed you. Although, the only thing that I can see that would be a problem, is when your heart takes over your mind. But other than that, I am very pleased." (pati ba naman sa work? hahaha. syempre dapat puso padin.charot lang) Although, my 1st account would be dissolved na agad even I haven't warmed my...

Dahil napapanahon ang Begin Again..damang dama ko eh. Peburit song of the day: Like a Fool We take a chance from time to time And put our necks out on the line And you have broken every promise that we made And I have loved you anyway Took a fine time to leave me hangin' out to dry Understand now I'm grievin' So don't you waste my time Cause you have taken All the wind out from my sails And I have loved you just the same We finally find this Then you're gone Been chasin' rainbows all along And you have cursed me When there's no one left to blame And I have loved you just the same And you have broken every single fucking rule And I have loved you like a fool Yung pikchur na beach at buko..walalang yan, trip kolang ilagay. namimiss ko na mag beach eh. Ganda nu? sa Calaguas yan. <3 heart heart.

Hindi ako lumaki sa probinsya, hindi ko masyado naranasan magtatakbo sa pilapil at magpaka spiderman umakyat ng puno.Ni mag bike nga di ko alam!maryosep! Dito na ako lumaki sa Kyu to the Si. Pero nakakaintindi ako ng panggalatok, some bisaya, some japanese at gay lingo. Tuwing nakakarinig ako ng mga mag ffriends na nagsasalita ng panggalatok o kaya ilocano, which is main dialect sa Pangasinan kung san ako pinanganak, natutuwa ako. Kahit di ko naiintindihan, gustong gusto kong naririnig. Kung may alam man akong mga salita, ang awkward naman pag ako nagbanggit. Tunog may kinain na inaamag na tinapay. hindi kaaya aya!nakakatawa ganun. hindi maintindihan paminsan. kasi iba yung bitaw. mas magaling pa ako magmura kesa mag panggalatok eh! Minsan sa buhay ko, me ilokano akong nakilala. tuwing naririnig ko syang me kausap na ilokano din sa office, na eentertain ako,. parang mga alien na nagteleport dito tas nag uusap pano kkidnapin at dadalhin sa planeta nila yung mga nangungulangot sa ng ...

Madami nang nasusulat tungkol sa sining ng pagmumura or! art of cursing..pero bilang gaya gaya puto maya, syempre gagawa ako ng sarili kong edisyon. Bilang isang fluffy earthling na late bloomer sa usapang pagmumura sa ating sariling lenggwahe, naabot ko na ang rurok ng tagumpay kung saan, alam ko na ang tamang bagsak, iba't ibang intonasyon na naayon sa sitwasyon at ang tamang bigkas ng bawat salita. This is not your fucking average shit. Warning: Profane words in this article may offend the conservative, and I would like to ask you to discontinue reading, step out of my site and shut the fuck up. *sinaksak ko yung charger ko, nawala na naman yung train of thought. lecheng thought organization eh deputa. Hindi ko na lang buburahin yung mga hinto ko, para malaman ko kung gaano kahaba o kaiksi yung attention span kong parang isang linggong pag ibig,..Oh kay bilis ng iyong pagdating, pag alis mo'y sadyang kay bilis diiiiin..:p loveee eettt! Minsan mahirap mag research...

I've been wanting to write about depression, suicide and self-destruction for quite a while now, but my ideas just won't fit perfectly together. So, I thought of just writing my initial thoughts and add or edit this when my brain's got a clearer perspective on the issue. --- Hindi ako doktor o espesyalista na kayang mang diagnose ng depression. Sa panahon ngayon, kapag sinabihan kang depressed, good as sinabihan kang nababaliw. Kaya sa ibang bansa, maingat ang mga tao na magsabi ng ganto patungkol sa iba. Although, sa ibang bansa, mas open sila sa pagsasabing magpatingin sila sa espesyalista para matulungan. Dito sa atin, dalawa lang ang sanhi ng hindi pagpapatinginng ating mental health. Una, hindi naman tinuturing na sakit ang depression ng maraming tao, lungkot lang yun, na pwedeng mawala at lumipas. At dahil hindi naman ito na pperceive as matinding sakit, aksaya lang ng pera kung magpapatingin pa sa doktor. Ang mahal kaya ng professional fee nila. Ikalawa, ang atin...